May you receive the desires of your heart

Artwork by Author

We all have at least one of those friends who we communicate with only once per year to say happy whatever the calendar says that year is. This morning I woke to a New Year’s greeting from an old friend of mine. We have known each other for over 25 years and every single year we send each other greetings and best wishes. We have a rinse and repeat relationship.

This time I was extra happy to hear from him given the way 2020 unfolded. It was heartwarming to know that he and his family were ok, not great, but okay. I started responding to him, telling him how excited I was for 2021 and that I have been having dreams about this year for a few weeks now.

There are those dreams that simply clear away the debris from the day’s activities and others that are premonitions. Recently, I have been awoken at least twice with my hand reaching for my pregnant stomach, only to realize that I was dreaming. I admit to knowing the meaning of this particular dream since I have been knocking on the door of my subconscious for some weeks now looking for answers. I always say and continue to say, when we tap into the power of the subconscious mind for advice and direction, great things happen. Something extraordinary is about to be birthed for 2021…….

My brain caught up with my fingers as they wandered on the keyboard. It reminded them that we were writing about an exchange with my friend. I digressed. I apologize.

As I began to tap out a response to him, I was able to reflect on the past year. I did not get sick, nor did anyone close to me, and even though two of my family members crossed over during the year from illnesses unrelated to the pandemic, I had every reason to be thankful and grateful.

I thought of telling him about the special gift of time that 2020 gave to me.

I got to do many of the things that were bubbling inside me for years but never had the opportunity to develop. For one thing, I started to write again and the process has been a cathartic experience for me. I laid myself bare while trying to decipher and understand things that transpired during the course of my life. I was able to examine my childhood, critically look at my present situation, and most importantly I was able to share through my writings, my experiences with spirituality, meditation, love, life, pain, joy, and bliss. I have been able to speak freely about sex and death and orgasms and rebirth. For the first time ever, I faced my fears head-on, acknowledging my humanness and my ability to be fallible, weak, and oftentimes foolish. I watched as I shed skins of past hurt, past pain, past loss and emerge renewed and ready for 2021.

No, I did not write all this to my friend. I smiled at his message and simply responded to him, “For 2021, I wish for you all the desires of your heart.”